Thursday, May 15, 2008

Trance


Bodies entangled

Skin brushing against skin

Heat rising and falling

A false sense of numbness

engulfs the mind

The air is charged up

and the sweat is dripping

The lights are fazing

and the view is hazy

The vibes running

through the spine

beat after beat

You can't defeat

the music's heat

54 comments:

crasiezt said...

The First comment should be the best...praising you to the hilt...but ahem! I'm the honest bitch so unfortunately that ain't gonna happen:P

The poem is nice of course. But not as awesome as some of your previous work..It's somehow not very mellifluous...no rhyming initially, and then the last few lines are. I dunno if it's a style of poetry. If it is, then I don't like it too much.

But as always, a lovely picture!

Have to say one thing though...what you've described in the poem is amazing in real life...especially when it's you and me:D

Akshay said...

I like what the picture is trying to tell and it's synchronization with your words. It was about time for a new post!!!

rantravereflect said...

:) hot n sexy..
false sense of numbness-
yehh man, i think people can switch on n off as they like it. wen ya wanna feel nuttin else, yeh ya want tat blessed numbness, and ya're blessed with it..

rantravereflect said...

n the previous post! nikita-i'm almost there..
haaaaa- ya really got me there..

ya really are a woman-flitter- twas a gud read :)

gunj said...

mere examz aane waale hai!!:|
i need to concentrate n ofcoz with such inputs from you...i dont my engg is gettin ova anytime soon!!

butt u can still keep writin such stuff...padai to hoti rahegi...abhi aish karne ka time hai :P

Gonecase said...

Crazy:
Thank you Ms. Anton Ego but I don't crave for praises so you can give your honest opinion honestly. Sometimes I write poems, sometimes stories but sometimes I'm in the mood of writing neither, hence the outcome ! And in real life, it is indeed amazing :D

Gonecase said...

Akshay:
Yep, its been long since I posted something, been busy with work. Thanks :)

Gonecase said...

Rantravereflect:
Agree and can be your tranquilizer shot !
And nikita-LOL, fictional words, thanks and welcome :)

Gonecase said...

Gunj:
Oye, all the best for your exams ! Aur engg mein kab se padhai hone lag gayi...abhi aish kar le...baad mein na to time milega na hi teri umar rahegi :P

Sutta said...

As usual I loved this one as well.
Intense and deep.
I laauuve it! :D

Pranay said...

Bravo!!!! Night at a disco described in such an way....and I also liked ur rhyme scheme...interesting and new.

Gonecase said...

Sutta:
Sutta baba ki jai ho !!
Dhanyawaad maharaj, jo aapki kripa-drishti padi is naacheez ki bakwaas par :D

Gonecase said...

Pranay:
Thanks very much doctor sahab :)

elusive said...

yay goney is back in action n HOW! sexy stuff..i loved the picture n the heart made randomly wit the chain awesum it is..

elusive said...

@crasiezt OMG!
@gonecase..U R SID!!
@both of u..i liked crazys comment more than the poem :p

Ankur said...

wow!!!

seriously its rhymes a lot!!!

and its sensous!!! :D
hehe

Cheers!!!

P.S. tu hai kidhar???

five_silver_rings said...

Interesting. Descriptive, ironically through minimum usage of words.

Suggestion? "Music's heat"--needs to go. Also, "air is charged up"--very cliched. Try replacing it with something more creative? Of course, you're the poet, so it rests entirely upto you, but just trying to help out :)

Enigma said...

You really can't :)


http://virtuously.blogspot.com/

Anvita said...

Yaar i have become a fan of yur writings man......

good on ya u write so well.....man i am seriously thinking of a crash course from u.....basics atleast wat say eh?

J said...

Wow... for moment I thought it was something else... ;)

Reeta Skeeter said...

hmmm this sounds like gonecase now...
good hai...
like the picture... thank God wo daraawni wali type ki nahi lagayi :P

Alok said...

Halfway I guessed it was about a Disco!

Now is that a good thing or a bad thing, dunno. :^D

Anyways, it was pretty concise, and effective!

nefariousoutlook said...

well written man!!
really liked the photo..goes well with the theme of the poem

keep posting dude

Alok said...

Your template reminds of a video by Opeth.

Try searching for "Porcelain Heart" on Youtube!
Awesome song!

Angry Indian said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Angry Indian said...

Poerty need not be rhyming all the time. This kinda reminded me of the "ode to smelly socks" that I wrote in my seventh grade and in public interest refrain from posting here.


My name is not relevant and I am the Angry Indian

www.angryindian.com

Gonecase said...

Elusive:
That is "I Love Music" :D
Thanks !

Btw, how do you know my name ??
And as for the crazy's comment, wo professional writer hai aur mein amateur :)

Gonecase said...

Ankur:
Thanks very much sir...thoda sa job ki wajah se busy tha !!

Gonecase said...

Five silver rings:
Thanks for the tips and thanks for dropping by, keep visiting :)

Gonecase said...

Enigma:
Thanks for dropping by, will check yours too :)

Gonecase said...

Anvita:
Kyon bhare bazaar le rahi hai, I just scribble ! I'm glad that you like this crap, hehehe !!

Gonecase said...

J:
That was the whole idea :P

Gonecase said...

Skeety:
Shukriya shukriya and as for the picture, agli wali waisi hi hai, hehehe :P

Gonecase said...

Alok:
Ab IITians koi chote-mote log thodi hote hain, thanks and keep visiting :)

Gonecase said...

Nefariousoutlook:
Thanks and keep visiting :)

Gonecase said...

Alok:
Will check out for sure, thanks !

Gonecase said...

Angry Indian:
Agree with the first line, it need not rhyme !
And as for the public interest, its a personal call, I post whatever I want to, if somebody doesn't like it, he/she can ignore it, its as simple as that. Thanks and keep visiting :)

Macadamia The Nut said...

Amazing!! Reminds me to the times me and my friends lost it while dancing to Paul Van Dyke!!!

Gonecase said...

Thanks :)
And Paul Van Dyke ?? Live ????

BIG Omi said...

Nice one again...
my feets have already started tapping...
long time didn't visited any music store..... Time to go for one... and hunt some good music...

Tc.
omi

elusive said...

oh am a smart-assed spy ;) i jus put 2 n 2 together ya..i mean crazys comment n remembered a post on her blog abt it being her boyfriend SID's birthday :p
p.s. i will be too embarassed if my spygiri isnt right this time :D

Gonecase said...

Big Omi:
Thanks :)
But you still buy music ??? Its been ages since I bought some ;)

Gonecase said...

Elusive:
Oh! Its more of mathematics than spygiri, very ishmart calculation :P

Sutta said...

Ohho! Johanybravo turning into 'Demon Barber of the fleet street' eh? :P

Saar, yeh ads hatao na.
Kuch kamayi hoti hai kya inse real mein? :O

geet said...

oye.. sweeney todd !!! kya template uthaaya hai sahi...

"beat after beat

You can't defeat

the music's heat "

o yea... thats what happens to me when i hit a disc...

good one

Anvita said...

man i wasnt kidding i was serious

quarterpastseven said...

I swear I had left comments on your blog and you even replied to it.. But now they're gone :O ! You owe me an explanation, Mister!

quarterpastseven said...

oops! It wasn't this one! My bad. Apologies.. it's just jet lag!

Gonecase said...

Sutta:
Abhi to dukaan kholi hai gurudev, kamai ka to baad mein pata chalega !!

Gonecase said...

Geet:
Shukriya shukriya :D

Gonecase said...

Anvita:
Thanks :)

Gonecase said...

Quarterpastseven:
Oye ! Didn't get it !!

noelia ~ said...

"Bodies entangled
Skin brushing against skin"

there's nothing like human contact/warmth

Gonecase said...

Noelia:
Indeed !