Tuesday, August 7, 2007

Present Lost


Have tried something new this time. Though the topic remains same, as always, have changed structuring a bit, see if you can make out.


This heartache this pain
This pain is insane
Insane are all thoughts
Thoughts thought in vain

It ain't easy being lonely
Lonely in the crowd
Crowded with chocking feelings
Feelings once made you proud

The emotions are imprudent
Imprudent to the core
Core of this all is look
The look that you wore

Life is made of bondings
These bondings are sore
Sore is the meaning of life
This life is a whore

12 comments:

Σŋтяοрγ said...

very well laid out poem.
but the ending cud haf bn little less abrupt.
lol..d last WORD makez me laf though.:P
nyce poem HOMIE!:P

Gonecase said...

Homie ! You are a quick learner. Agree, the poems end abruptly, as most of my poems do, maybe I lose interest in the middle or maybe its my writing style ;-)

preeti said...

somehow liked it very much :)
btw what r these kind of poems called :P i mean the where the first word of next line s same as last word of current line..

Gonecase said...

Hey, thanks for that Preeti.
Frankly speaking, I dont know, I never saw or read this style anywhere, just came to my mind and I tried, dunno if it existed and if yes, what is it called :)

crasiezt said...

totally totally loved da last stanza:D

Reeta Skeeter said...

no updates since... :|

Anonymous said...

hey! a poetry blog!
your poetry will be more mature if instead of givin a direct vent to your feelings, you can perhaps try playing with imagery or nos. or anything else to convey a mood or an emotion. I write too. I dnt hav a blog yet but my orkut profile is "Redolence of loss" and it has a recent poem. check it!

Gonecase said...

Skeeter- Yeah, been busy with job lately, would surely update soon :)

Anonymous- Thanks a lot, I love feedbacks. I like blunt poetry but would surely try alternatives, thanks once again.

Gonecase said...

Crazy-
Bus, only last stanza :(

crasiezt said...

NO gonecase..it's all good, but the last stanza was like THE BEST!!

umangexuberance said...

just three words
*WOW* *WOW* *WOW*
:)
:)
:)

Gonecase said...

Three words,hmmm,make it six-
Thank you, thank you, thank you :)

Sorry for the late response, didn't notice it.